DuckyAtePaste Web Comic: Unwanted Cookies

Hey guys, I haven't made any more web comics, so I thought I should. Hoping you get it (you probably won't since I made it in five minutes), here you go:

Oh wise Bazooka, tell me my fortune!

Oh man, I almost let it slide an entire week! :O

Well, I better give you guy(s) a special entry.

I was in the store and bought some Bazooka just for the heck of it. We all know the 'so-funny-I-forgot-to-laugh' comics wrapped around the gum, but I noticed something even better: Fortunes.

'Fortune' is kind of an overstatement. It's more like advice with no relation to life. Here are seven of them:

"WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY, THE TEACHER WILL STOP FLUNKING HIM."

Wait a minute, him? Girls flunk too. Bazooka sure shares it's opinions, gosh.

"HE WHO PAYS THE CELL PHONE BILL CALLS THE TUNE"

Um...that doesn't make much sense. They could have used more work on that.

"SUCCESS IS TEN PERCENT PERSPIRATION, NINETY PERCENT DEODORANT!"

What exactly does sweat have to do with success? I believe success is built on happiness

"IF A TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST, GET THE HECK OUTTA THE WAY!"

Uh...duh?

"FRIENDSHIP IS THE STURDIEST OF ALL SHIPS EVEN THOUGH IT SOMETIMES SPRINGS A LEAK!"

Did it just tell me that my friends pee? I don't need advice on that! Where should I go to college?

"A TREE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE"

...? This is the farthest thing from a 'fortune.'

"DON'T CUT OFF YOUR NOSE TO SPITE YOUR FACE."

This is by far the most random one. This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

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Well, that's all I have. Please enjoy these fortunes forever more!

(P.S. Arithmetic lesson: Emoticons = Nerd, Lame acronyms = Nerd, does Lame acronyms = Emoticons? :Omg!)

I Am Legend Review

Hey guys, just got back from I Am Legend. It was frikkin scary at parts, I don't care if the critics were bashing it for crap CG. I was scared. Shut up I'm totally macho.

Spoiler pool ahead, just so you know.



I Am Legend has about the stupidest ending ever. I read the book's ending online and it was better. In the movie, Robert Neville finds out he is not the last man on earth. Ugh. Then he kills himself for no reason, when he could have easily just thrown the grenade and got in the bomb shelter thing. The dark seekers could apparently break through his roof and get into his house, but they couldn't break through some safety glass. It also explains that the virus doesn't like the cold, but that apparently has nothing to do with anything. First off, the dark seekers' body temperature was already like 106. Second off, when the Neville family is trying to get away, it is during Christmas, but the virus seems to spread just as quickly and still spreading airborne. Anyways, the first while of the movie was good. Character developments on Robert was very well acted by Will Smith. I found the first three fourths very interesting.

Yeah, my finger hurts now (I scraped it up horribly), so I'm gonna leave you be.

'Snappy Comebacks'

I put it in quotations because I'm totally being sarcastic.

Here are some comebacks I really did hear. From the same person. For real.

"Why are you hanging around me, if you hate and disagree with everything I say?"
"Well, I'll get out the sledge hammer-"
(I interrupted)"Yeah, so I can ward you away."
"You probably couldn't even lift it!"

(He was wearing a shirt that looked like a piece of paper was stuck to it saying 'Save the forest, no more homework!')
"You know how ironic that shirt is?"
"I'm going to staple your face!"
Wowee. Great.

I have to put a comeback I came up with. It's too funny.

So he was being a dishface and hanging around me and my friends. So we asked him:
"Hey, dude, who do you like?"
He was pausing, so I took the advantage of the timing and said:
"Clayton!"
Sometimes I really think he's gay.

Okay, this isn't from the same kid, but this is a really stupid comeback I heard.

We keep joking about this kid drinking soda, 'sodaholic.' He didn't really care, or at least we thought we didn't.
"Yeah, that's right. I drink soda. Hear me, third grader?"
Okay, first of all we're the exact same height. Second off my IQ is much higher than his. Trust me.

Christmas shopping time! If you haven't seen it already, check out my totally killer wishlist!

The Literal Maze

Directions:
Help Santa find his way to the Christmas tree.

Here's a little map to help you, Santa:

Guitar Hero

As I was playing John the Fisherman on Hard and Heart-Shaped Box on Expert (yes, I do like to brag about those!!) I was thinking. Yeah. That's right.

Why don't they make a Bass Hero? Or like, Bass Master? I'm thinking of making one with GameMaker, but it's a rather large project. I know Guitar Hero features a Bass option in the Training section, but the controllers are the same and you can't play during a concert. And yes, I have heard of Rock Band. I would get it, I mean since I already have a guitar, but I'm saving for a new TV, and depending on what I get from Christmas money, I probably won't get it.

Why did I post this? Mainly just to brag that I can play Guitar Hero decently.

Rip-off!

I have recently noticed Kraft has some salad dressing products with pretty much no fat, 15 calories, and all the other healthy stuff. But what I beg to differ on is the name of the product:

Even though 'FREE' is the biggest, most obvious, and accompanied by no other words on the box, I still have to pay the $4.00 to get the thing. Forget you Kraft product-naming department (Just kidding. For serious. Don't sue me)!

Boring - Mini Golf Demo

I'm making a mini golf game, so yeah. It will work on most XP's, and it SHOULD work on Vista. It would probably run 98 and up or so.

Here's the download link:
Linkage!!

I got inspired by a mini golf game made with the same program I use (GameMaker) called Mini-Golf Pro. It rocks and is a lot better. Here is S64's game: More Linkage!!

Drake and Josh: I can't believe I didn't noticed this!

I was watching Drake and Josh , and it cut to the movie theater. Being a reader of the Sneeze and aware that Steve is friends with Dan Schneider (most known to me for 'Ricky' in Better Off Dead), and that Dan Schneider created the show, I never really put the two apart. The Premiere (the movie theater) always has funny fictional movies playing, like 'Bathtub of Blood.' I just noticed that on the Great Doheny episode, it displays this on the movie theater:

Hehe. I didn't really need all the much explaining.

I also circled 'Hungry Girl,' because it is a reference to site dedicated to helping women stay fit. I'm guessing he put this in because he married the founder and president of the site.

Well, I'm all good now. I don't know why I posted this, it isn't witty or funny. I just noticed it.

-Ducky

Chummy Larks

Chummy larks (that's what you get if you play around with Lucky Charms) ..hehe.

Hello, Ducky here. Again.

Came with ready made numbers, I give you the five leprechauns, as opposed to the seven dwarfs (dwarves?).

(Sorry, bit blurry!)

1. STALKER - Yeah, this guy will watch you while you sleep and smile. Don't be frightened, but he's watching you RIGHT NOW!
2. HAIRY - Involved with a failed hair 'destoration' experiment, he is now hairy as ever. But trust me, he's all hair but there.
3. DENTIST - I really have no idea what he's doing here. But he has completely perfect teeth and is pretending to hold a pancake of some sort.
   
4. TERRORIST - He may not look like too much, but his eyebrows show he's evil. I would go buy a bomb shelter, just in case an atomic bomb gets into his hands.
5. CREEPY - My favorite. He's pretty much a combined figure of the previous four. He'll watch you while you're sleeping, destroy a national monument, have you shave his hairy body and uh... clean your teeth?
   

Oh man, I'm scared of leprechauns now.

NOTE: Original post contained leprechauns being very naughty, but I have edited that out and replaced it with a very nice dentist leprechaun.

- Ducky

Boring Post

I'm not dead. I was, but now I'm a zombie! A lame one, for I have a blog.

Yeah, I have a cool thing to add to my blog soon, but not now, as it is 4:50 in the morning (really).

Silly Sims

Hello! Welcome to Silly Sims! This is a showcase where I show off funny sims and pictures. We'll be looking at people I made, and a couple that my sis made (not Val!).

Here we see a man with a long nose. Don't worry, it gets sillier.

Here's an old man with abnormally large ears. I didn't spend too much time with him. His nickname is Dumbo.

Here is the bug-eyed teenager wearing a snazzy new t-shirt I made.

Here's 'Big Lip Guy.' This was created by my sister. She made him kiss a girl, and his lips engulfed her face. It was really funny.

Here's the man who put a whole new meaning to the term 'Butthead.' If you spread out your butt like that, you would reveal a tiny mouth and a large nose. And possibly some eyebrows, but no sign of eyes.

Here's another of my sister's creations. Yes, that is his nose. I made him 'Woohoo' with another sim, and the outcome was funny. In certain parts, his nose was sticking out of the covers.


And here's my personal favorite: Cheek Boy. He could aviate with those cheeks. He does have a face, but it is hard to see, you have to get the exact correct angle to see between the cheeks. If you had funny cheeks like this, you'd get into cheek stardom!

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Do you have any Silly Sims? This could include odd sims like the ones above, or just silly pictures, glitches, and other things. Please share with the readers and email me a picture or download at duckyatepaste@gmail.com.

Makes Me Hungry

If you haven't heard the actual Maroon 5 song, go here: Clickedy here!
I created a new vid, the song is not as popular as it used to be, but I still think it's hecka funny. Watch this killer vid all the way to the end, dudes.

IMPORTANT BEFORE COMMENTING:
This was made in no way to insult Maroon 5, I really do love this song. I just think mine is funny. Do not tell me I don't have a life and that I hate Maroon 5. I don't hate Maroon 5, but I don't have a life, but that's not the point.

An Open Letter to my Reader(s)

Dear reader(s),

Hey dude(s)! I hope you all are enjoying me blog, it sure is fun to write. Unfortunately, I don't have much material to put on here. I currently have a couple of funny ideas, I just haven't finished them. It is way late at night right now, I'm very tired.

I started this as a daily blog, but I ran out of material. I am now trying the three-day approach, but I'm not sure if that will make it.

Today I spent the entire day playing the Sims 2. With all my video games, it's an on-again off-again relationship. Lots of revisited games are NoLimits, Roller Coaster Tycoon, and the Sims.

Man, I could ramble on about video games for hours. Like how cool Call of Duty 4 looks. *Homer Simpson drool* Oh crap, I have to stop the boring video game ramble.

I've been thinking of making a DuckyAtePaste game with Rubber Ducky, Bootman, and Weasel. Unfortunately I don't have any ideas whatsoever what to do.

It's ten minutes to midnight, hoh boy. I could make up some great Bootman lines right now.

Why the heck am I making so many frickin' paragraphs? There's no real reason too. Why do we even have paragraphs, I ask? Well, I guess to tell between each subject. Like, if I were to start talking about video games again, I should make a new paragraph. Speaking of video games, I wish I had a Wii. Oh, whoops.

I wish I had a Wii. Those things look wicked awesome. From what I hear on the ol' internet, PS3 sucks. Sucks through a straw. Hehe. I need to go to bed.

Well, I'm off to go postpone sleep by playing video games.

-Rubber Ducky

New Vid: "Interview with Rubber Ducky"

Yep, an interview with me!

Here you go, you earned. Well, not really. But still:



/\ The first part's timing screwed up during the editing process. Sorry 'bout that! Nothing too dramatic.

-Ducky

I'm 3 years old! (jk)

Sorry I haven't updated the last couple of days, I've been too wrapped up in my BIRTHDAY! w00t!

I got the Simpsons Game for a present, and I've been playing it for long periods of time. I'm on a level (or episode) were I have to defeat the Lard Lad Donut Boy. I have a PS2, and it is soo fun! It mixes my favorite four things: puzzles, beating up video game people, platforming, and the Simpsons. I even love the graphics, if you think that's weird. It's hecka funny, I've laughed several times at it. The only thing that sucks is the camera control, it points in the wrong direction during battle numerous times, causing you to do something dumb like walk off a cliff or fall during a Bartman glide. But I for serious recommend getting this game.

-Ducky

Forget this!

Forget my blog, I have a life*!

A note from Rubber Ducky





* I may or may not have a life.

New Vid - Weasel Related

Hey hey hey guys! How's it going? Ducky here. Here's a new vid, it isn't working currently but who knows. I don't have the video file (it's on T-Shirt's Computer, where I made it), so I can't try again.

Nobody Cares - New Vid

Hello there! Back with a New Vid! This is the first episode with an animated Weasel. And all three of the characters are in the same vid now! Woot woot! Anyways, it's not working in the blog editor, but it might work on the actual blog:

EDIT: Nope it is NOT WORKING! Maybe this is why Blogger is scheduled to be offline at 11. I'll try and re-upload then.

EDIT (AGAIN): Now it is working. What the craps?

Weasel's Revenge: I'm too lazy to animate it

Here's the audio file, you will need Window's Media Player to see it:


(If you cannot see the bar, you can download the mp3 here)

Warning Signs

Hello, Ducky here. Not like it would be anybody else or anything. I got pretty bored so I took some of these warning signs off of Google Search and modified them. Captions are on the bottom.

Here we see a car scene with a dog in a car. Yes, it points out that they they left their dog in the car, but it still seems kind of silly to see a warning sign with a dog alone in a car. Nevertheless came my version:

Here we see a regular 'No Swimming' sign, complete with Spanish translation. There's nothing wrong with it, mine is just hecka funny.


Yeah, I did this one last and spent the rest of the night laughing. Shut up, I don't laugh at stupid things. All the time.

A sign saying keep out, but the man only consists of a decapitated head and disembodied hand. Poor guy probably can't even take it down.

His hand is bigger than his face. He must have cancer too!

I personally think these signs are stupid, I think the driver is going to notice a 'speed bump' in a residential area. Well, mine is much funnier:

Hahaha! Slow children! Ahh.

Hope you enjoyed these! I sure enjoyed making them.

Leap Frog is edumacational! Pre-K to MA!

Sorry to be posting on the same day, I just didn't want to add this to my other post.

I played around with my old LeapPad and it told me to mix the words to make a new sentence. Just to be a dork, I did. Unfortunately for LeapFrog, it was educational in the wrong way.

A WORD OF WARNING: This video contains immature sexual references. For gentler audiences, I would REALLY not recommend not viewing.

The First DuckyAtePaste Web Comic Edition: Gladiator

I made my own web comic with Pivot, as saving each 'animation' (really just saving two frames of the same picture) as a gif, importing it to Paint and adding words. Here you go, the first DuckyAtePaste Web Comic!

My 'beta' design for Weasel is that he always has a spear through him. He never dies, but pretty much none of my stick figures die. I could have added blood, but I didn't want to.

Hey guys!

Another addition to my blog! I have come up with names for characters on my Blog. The stick figure with the boot on his head as seen in 'Informal Meeting' is named Bootman, I actually created him from my voice I did in the third grade. Long time no see. I, am just a regular stick figure. But if I get killed or seriously injured that' not me. I don't hurt myself unless it's funny and fitting. Oh yeah and if it's not dangerous. The girl I like, and for personal purposes I am calling Mallard. I probably won't mention her too much, but no I am not gay. I repeat, I am not gay. Surprise? I also created a character I named Weasel, because nobody really has empathy for him and he's an outcast. It's like a stick figure Charlie Brown. I'm not sure on the character design for Weasel, but I sure have a voice for him. Why the crap can't I post audio clips, Blogger? Anywho, back to blog business. I fooled around with my blog site today and added some new stuff, like the Die gif and the new welcome message. Well, I've got some stuff to do. That concerns eating donuts.

?

Hey, Rubber Ducky here. I don't know what I'm posting about. Ducky Ate Paste is proud to present a link to a friends blog (T-Shirt's Blog). I'm actually watching all the Halloween shows today, I spent all halloween doing homework! Anyways, I wish I did better posts on my blog LOL. Man, I'm a nerd.

- Rubber Ducky

A New 'Tattoo' - More Stick Figure (Informal Meeting)

I read the Sneeze, that's pretty much where I got the idea to start a blog. The blog was started because I have trouble maintaining a personal journal and I'm an internet junkie, so I mixed the two and created a blog. As a tribute to thesneeze.com I made myself a new 'tattoo' with red marker:

If you do not know what Lux is, click on the link to thesneeze above.

I might be going to Lagoon tomorrow. Depends on how early I get stuff done and if I feel good. Don't get me wrong, I love Lagoon. It is almost my life. I just don't enjoy a headache.

Also, I have a new stick figure video and it features voices (sorry, if my voice hurts your ears stop looking at my blog!):

Well, I've got productive things to do. Just kidding, I never do.

Signing off - Rubber Ducky.

Another Stick Figure Movie (Two Points)

Two Points

A tale of pleasure and despair that you will laugh all the way through. All the way through 6 seconds.

New Stick Figure Video - Scholastic is going mad!

A new little 10 second video I made, created with a nice freeware program called Pivot Stickfigure, I used version 2. It's about a stick figure running, no real reason.

Contains mild violence.

As apart from that, I found this thesaurus I got in the fifth grade, a 'pocket' thesaurus. I took a picture, with a paperclip and a five dollar bill for size reference:

Now, I don't know what Scholastic is smoking, but I'm pretty sure that won't fit in my pocket now, and for sure not my fifth grade self. It's a 64 page book, so you can't fold it in any way. Even rolled up it would stick up and out of my pocket. Seriously, my Webster's edition is smaller than this.

First post!

I have created a new blog - Ducky Ate Paste. I'm sure this blog will never be read, but in the event of this blog becoming a new craze of the internet, this is one of 'many' historic posts in Ducky Ate Paste. I am an anonymous person, and I call my self Ducky. By best friend is Ernie (just kidding. I don't want to tick off Bert). Sometimes I get a little crazy. And by that I mean like the Crazy Cat Lady from the Simpsons. Auu ai ohh aii cats ahha iaho ah. I hope this is a successful blog, but probably never will be. I will try to post from time to time, I'll do my best I promise.