Mallard Mayhem

Well, looking back on this blog I've decided to create a new one. This blog has too many posts that I consider immature and certainly too many that contain my horrible voice. I've also grown tired of the name 'DuckyAtePaste' (which is why I've changed email names).

I've also switched over to Wordpress. It looks better, it's easier to post with, it's upgradable, etc. It even shows all the page views on my administration page quickly and easy-to-read, including how many visitors per day, what they looked at, how they found it (it even shows their search terms if they found it by Google). It's just plain more advanced and better than Blogger.

I'm hoping you guys take lightly to this. It doesn't mean I'm deleting this blog or I'm stopping updates. In fact, I'll *hopefully* write more now considering it's much easier to post and track views. Basically, it's DuckyAtePaste v2.0.

So, without further ado, I'll give a link to the blog:
http://mallardmayhem.wordpress.com/

Happy trails!

Restroom Towers - RCT2

I still play Rollercoaster Tycoon 2. RCT3 lags my computer and makes it really tedious and difficult to make a large park (but I can play games like CSS and Portal fine), and the guests are really stupid (and don't die!).

Today, in an ode to Thomas Crapper, I build this awesome park called 'Restroom Towers.' I'm thinking the slogan should be 'The Most Relieving Place on Earth.'

Home to 255 restrooms, this park also has several restroom attendants (handymen), mechanics, security guards, and even an entertainer! Restroom Towers has it all (excluding actual rides and food/drink/other stalls)! The park has received rewards such as 'The Safest Park in the Country' and 'The Tidiest Park in the Country.'

Here are some screenshots of the park (click to enlarge):

Oodles of restooms.

We're not joking when it comes to bathrooms.

Look at all the silly people who want to go home!

This giant restroom houses the 250th restroom.

An overview of the park.

I caved in and got Twitter. I still have no need for Facebook though.

Runtime Fail

Here's another 'fail' I noticed.

I dunno, I wasn't planning on spending my entire weekend watching this movie.

Hotel Room Win

Indoor Heated Pool, Microwave & Refrigerator in Every Room!!!

(think about it and read it like an English nazi)

Ducky's Guide to TV Commercial Statements

'Our product will change your life!'

...for the worse.

'If you go to our school, you will get a FREE laptop computer that you can keep after you graduate!'

...that weighs 35 pounds and runs Windows 95.

'Although our product would normally cost $90, we are selling it for $10!'

...it would cost $90 if purchased from Hong Kong through eBay.

'We will double your order for the same price of $10!'

...and they were planning to do that anyways, but decided to add additional shipping and processing costs.

'Actual people on hidden cameras.'

...actors are actual people as well, and just because the cameras are hidden it doesn't mean that the actors don't know the cameras are there.

'Our cereal is healthier than other cereals!'

...when you compare 3/4 cup of cereal and 1/2 cup of skim milk to a regular serving of cereal with whole milk.

'Visually stunning.'

...when the reviewer originally said 'This movie is not visual stunning in any means at all.' and the commercial makers trimmed off 'excess' words from the sentence.

'The product will easily clean any material!'

...assuming the only material you've heard of is rusty pennies.

'The product has great potential!'

...as a paperweight.

'Professional driver on a closed course.'

...we paid a truck driver to sit in a car in front of a green screen because our budget was low.

GH:WT Review

Hello readers, guess what monsieur nerdy fanboy got in the mail yesterday? Guitar Hero World Tour!!!

That's right, I purchased Guitar Hero World Tour for the Wii (dual guitar pack). The only other Guitar Hero I have is Guitar Hero II for the PS2.

FIRST LOOK:
As I ripped the box to shreds to get to the game, er, quietly and patiently cut the box open, the two guitars that came with it looked very nice. I had to inspect the great new guitar. The touch-sensitive slide bar fit in very nicely with the look of the guitar, and the star power/- and + buttons looked better as well. They don't look like knobs this time, they look more like a bridge. I really don't see the need for the analog stick though, it looks a little out of place. I immediately notice the whammy bar fit your hand better.

I took a look at the second guitar that came in the package and discovered it was really just a Guitar Hero III guitar, no slide bar. I also discovered that the game also came with Guitar Hero III the game itself as well (which I haven't even opened). Pretty nice considering I didn't buy it, and also means that those of you who did, you can just buy just the game and the GH3 guitars will work.

SETUP:
As those of you who have it/researched it, as opposed to Rock Band 2, you have to place Wiimotes in the guitars to play. You basically take off a part of the back of the guitar like a battery case, plug it in to the guitar like a nun-chuck controller, and cram it all in to the hole. At first it's difficult to stuff the Wiimote in there, but once you get the hang of it it's not too bad. It is quite annoying that you have to take out the Wiimote and select the disc channel and then cram it back in every time you start the game, but there's not too much the developer could have done anyways.

SETLIST/MUSIC STUDIO:
The setlist itself is pretty good, featuring songs like 'Living on a Prayer' by Bon Jovi, 'What I've Done' by Linkin Park, 'The Middle' by Jimmy Eat World', etc. I won't list the whole setlist because you can just look it up on Wikipedia. I obviously had to cheat and look at a few of the bonus songs on Quick Play, and there were quite a few good ones as well. The game also has downloadable content, which unfortunately, you have to pay for. Basically every song on there is 200 Wii Points, which for you non-Wii users, is about $2.00.

There is also a music creator and GHTunes, which will really allow the game to be replayable. Unfortunately, the music that the game generates sounds only slightly better than a MIDI file, maybe even worse. Sometimes the notes get cut off, and repeated notes sound like a record skipping, as said in IGN's review of GHWT. I did manage to play around in the recording studio, which was pretty fun. There are two parts to the music studio, one is just a live recording area where you play whatever you want on your guitar and it records it, and the other is a more advanced one where you can record it step by step. I really wouldn't recommend using the basic recording thing, it's difficult to figure out how to record and hard to keep on beat. GHMix (the advanced recording thing) is a little difficult to work using a guitar, but you can figure it out pretty fast. It also has copy and paste functions, which became really helpful in my song. It also lets you create guitar, rythym guitar, bass, drums, and even keyboard, although it fails to have microphone capabilities (which I can understand). If you want to play the song I created, search 'Drugs' on GHTunes (on the Wii of course), it'll be by 'Hardly Working.' My song is difficult because you can't use hammer-ons and pull-offs throughout the entire song. It is possible, I finished it on Expert, although it took a few tries (the lead guitar part is accidentally on rythym guitar, oh well).

QUICK PLAY MODE:
I had to start off playing a few songs to try out the new engine, slider bar, and of course the new songs. I had to calibrate the lag first, because I can't play Guitar Hero without about 60 milliseconds of lag. I don't know why. I was halfway storming my way through What I've Done (an easier song) on Hard when I noticed that the whammy bar falls down. No, it doesn't fall off the guitar, but it turns until it is facing away from you so you can't reach it when you need it. This is highly annoying, as you have to hold the whammy bar in your hands to keep it from turning away from you. I quickly tilted the guitar like I usually do in Guitar Hero II to activate starpower, then it didn't activate. I brought the guitar to a 90 degree angle and about 5 seconds later it activated starpower, although I had already broke my multiplier. The starpower button is hard to press as well, it needs a really firm push in the middle to activate which is difficult to do during complicated parts of a song. It's not any better on the GH3 guitar either.

The HUD or whatever is pretty sharp looking. The starpower isn't as obvious as it was in Guitar Hero II, instead it shows up in crystal like shapes. Just play the game or watch YouTube videos, I don't think I can explain it. I don't really have any problems with it though.

There are also 'set lists' which means instead of just selecting a song and playing it, you select several songs and play them in a row. I really don't see the need for this, but it's pretty cool I guess.

MULTIPLAYER:
Multiplayer mode is actually pretty cool. I had my friend come over to test out the band mode, where I played bass and he played guitar. It's a pretty solid try, although I doubt it compares to Rock Band. IGN's review complained that it's difficult to see when somebody is failing, but I can pretty much tell when my friend's highway is blinking red. It may be because it was just a 2-player game, not a 4-player.

The game also has online multiplayer functions. I quickly registered my other friend in my friends list (it does not use the Wii's friend list) and started a few songs. I was disappointed to found out that you cannot choose your difficulty level after the song has been selected, which really sucks because I can play Expert on some songs while I can't even play Hard on others. It also isn't obvious how to select your difficulty, instead of just selecting it at the start as with Quick Play and Career mode, you have to go into Preferences and set it. If you don't have any friends to play with, you can also just use the matchmaking function which means it just draws some other random person who's trying to matchmake and plays it. I left halfway through playing though because I didn't know how to switch difficulties yet.

CAREER MODE:
I don't really like the career mode in this game. Instead of just choosing a song and playing it and unlocking more like in the previous Guitar Hero games, you play gigs and you have to play two or three songs in a row. It also doesn't give you a choice if you want to play an encore, you just have to. I didn't really look too much at it, I only played one or two gigs then cheated to get the bonus songs.

MISCELLANEOUS:
Menus/interface:
The interface of Guitar Hero isn't too great, it looks nice but it can be confusing. For example, the tutorials are in 'Training' under 'Quick Play.' What's up with that? If I wanted to learn a tutorial, I wouldn't got to Quick Play first. I really don't see why Training is in Quick Play. There are also a few other things out of place as well. Then when you exit a song in Training mode, it doesn't take you back to the set list, it takes you back to choosing what parts you want to play of the song you JUST played. Look, if I had wanted to try again at the song, I would have selected 'Change Song Parts' or whatever, not 'Continue.'

Customization:
GHWT has extremely high levels of customization, which is really good. You can create your own rockstar, and the customization features on that are comparable to the Sims. Really. You can even customise your guitar to the fret board wood and spacer type.

Of course, not everything is free. Once you earn money doing gigs, you can buy new clothes and accesories for your character. It's pretty simple really, and you earn quite a lot. I got a lot of money, probably enough for an expensive shirt.

Cheating:
The cheat mode is pretty good in this game. Instead of finding some secret hidden place if you want to activate a cheat, the cheat screen is just right in the Options menu. Instead of entering some random 16-number code EVERY time you want to cheat, you can select previous cheats you have entered in and toggle them off or on. For example, if I for some reason didn't want all of the bonus songs in Quick Play, I could just go to the cheat screen and toggle it off. Simple as that.

Mii Freestyle:
Although pretty cool, this has no point at all. Basically, you take Miis you have created and go to this little room. You then just jam on the guitar. You can also earn 'trading cards' or whatever by doing patterns the game suggests. There are basically 9 patterns the game suggests, and you have to tilt your guitar up and down to see them all, as they only show up in groups of threes.

I do find that it's way too easy to sound cool in this minigame thing. I can hold down the orange fret and strum, and I'm playing the solo from Jordan. It does sound pretty cool to strum all five frets at once though.

I also forgot to mention that there is no point in earning the trading card things it gives you. No money, no unlockables. Nothing. I think I'll just stick to playing Wii Music to do freestyle.

OVERALL:
Although this game has it's obvious flaws, it's still really entertaining and replayable. I would probably give it an 9/10.

If you want to friend me on Guitar Hero World Tour (for the Wii), email me and we can swap codes.

OH YEAH!! HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!

Internet Quotes

I really can't think of anything to write today, so I'll share some of my favorite quotes about the Internet.

"Well, I equate the web to like being in rush hour traffic. Everyone is really bold inside their box and they're just giving the finger out the window." - Adam Savage, from MythBusters

"Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame." - MG Siriam (?)

"Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant." - Mitch Kapor

"You can't take something off the Internet - it's like taking pee out of a pool." - Anonymous

And for you people who *still* have dial-up or some old slow connection (I don't, but I used to):

"I calculated the total time that humans have waited for web pages to load. It cancels out all the productivity gains of the information age. Sometimes I think the web is a big plot to keep people like me away from normal society." - Scott Adams, author of the Dilbert comic


Happy Holidays!

How I see the world

Ever since I added the DuckyAtePaste feed among my others to check if it worked, I keep checking it hoping it automatically updated it for me.

Anyways, here's a new piece of crap art for you guys:

New Labels

Sorry for the triple post here.

I admit, I've been lazy over the past blog posts, I never added labels. Well, I added labels to every post today.

- 'g-rated' means it is pretty okay for everybody. Some of the 'g-rated' posts are mildly violent, but it's just stick figures.

- 'observational' means an observation on life, like the serving size test.

- 'best posts' I saved what I think are my best posts on the blog.

The others are pretty self explanatory.

So, for instance, if you would like to see videos I have made, you would click on the little 'video' label on the side of the site.

Also, it's the tuleyide, no, yuletide season, I encourage you to look at my wishlist that I created last year. It's actually pretty funny.

Snow

Well, it's snowing.

I'm not sure how many of you readers have experienced snow, but after a while it's really annoying.

Sure, it's great fun to play around in. Sledding, skiing, building snowmen, etc. But after months of trudging to school through it, it gets extremely annoying.

Shoveling your driveway? It's like mowing your lawn every day. Working an hour of extremely hard work only having to get up the next morning and shovel twice as much. Playing in it gets to be too much trouble, as you have to put on piles of clothing to go outside and no matter what YOU ARE STILL COLD AND WET. Then, whatever piece of art you made from snow gets ruined by dumb kids with huge egos.

I do admit, Christmas does look a lot better in snow. But Memorial Day does NOT. Where I live, it starts snowing in November and oftentimes runs for 5 or 6 months, not ending until April. And all through that time it gets dark at five o' clock, you walk around in boots for 7 hours at school because it's too much hassle to bring another pair of shoes, you wear big fat coats that you end up jamming in your locker, and you can't do anything you can do in the summer. Popsicles and ice cream lose their touch, along with other frozen treats.

Winter just sucks.

Perfect weather: 80 degrees (fahrenheit) all year round, except 2 weeks around Christmas it snows, and there are a few rainstorms overnight for water.

Maybe I'll migrate in the winter, like birds.

The Munchkins' Revenge

Check out this awesome movie I made in Adobe Premiere:



I thought I should share it on here.

New blog: ForumFail

Hey guys, I just created a new blog called ForumFail. This has nothing to do with me or my personal life, it is just stupid posts on forums.

Be sure to check out the link: Clickedness.

And be sure to submit stupid posts to ForumFailMail@gmail.com

I will occasionally update this blog, but for the time being I'm trying to get this blog up and running.

SmallWorlds

Hey guys, I've come across a great MMORPG (Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game) called SmallWorlds.

SmallWorlds is currently in public beta, so it is currently free, although the staff said they will have premium accounts (for a 'small monthly fee') when the game is fully released.

In SmallWorlds, you create your avatar, along with it's room, and it's dance moves. You can get tokens and buy furniture for your room. You can do missions to get tokens (Such as get a certain score at a game). You can also play in-world arcade games (such as this fun one named 'Crazy Ape'), as well as games with other people like checkers, chess, mini-golf and pool AND you can put each of these games in your room. You can also buy other things, such as TVs that show YouTube movies you select, picture frames that show Flickr images you want, stereos that play songs you choose, and a graffiti board that you can draw on.

They have a big new release coming up with some awesome stuff, such as potions, spells, and lots of other magic stuff; the arcade machine will have a lot more games, as well as other third-party flash games, so even YOU could create a game and put in in your room; being able to design your own missions; and even selling items, spaces, or food and drink. I think they should implement a book that shows your blog or your favorite blog (also known as Ducky Ate Paste :D).

And no, I did not get paid for doing this. I just felt like posting about this cool game I found. Why are you all up in my face? Gosh!

So, if you do sign up with the link posted below, remember to friend me (My avatar's name is Gary Wardley) , and message me since SmallWorlds doesn't notification of new friends (I'm pretty sure that's in the next version though). Also, my dance totally will PWN yours!

Here's the link: http://www.smallworlds.com/

Oh, and subscribe.

(Gee, this post wasn't very funny)

....Shut up!

I know I promised more posts. Shut up.

Well, to those who haven't noticed, I have a...YouTube channel!

I just post whatever crap I conjure up (the kinda stuff I would put on here),

So, to make up for my lack of posting, here is a highly caffeine-induced video I made after watching Harry Potter 4:



Did that work?

There are more videos coming, so subscribe to: DuckyAtePasteFilms on YouTube!

For your convience, here is a handy link to my page: CLICKEDNESS!

Serving Size Test

Still not dead yet. I'm sorry, I just don't really feel like blogging right now. But nonetheless, here is an update.



Have you ever wondered about the serving sizes on cereal boxes? I do. I've done a test to see if the serving size would actually be enough to fill you.

On the box of Frosted Flakes (tm) it suggests 3/4 cup of cereal and a 1/2 cup of milk. Let's see how much this really is:


No joke. This is how much they suggest. Maybe I'm an overeater? They suggest this:


And I eat this:


Oh man I'm fat!

Sorry...

Sorry for the no updates last bitter end of school and all. I have a cool post coming up, I just got to upload some pictures, which I won't do now because I have to get up and go to school tomorrow. Just to let you all know I'm still alive.

- Ducky

(I have some cool movies to show you too :) )

(Oh no, I'm using smilies!! :o )

Number Sens - A Poorly Written Test

So in school they are making us do these stupid 'online preparation tests' that are really stupid and easy. I really haven't found any problems with it, until I took today's test. I really love the professionalism of these tests!

(Click on the photo to enlarge it, underlined for emphasis)

If z = o, then we have an undefined variable. Technically, this question didn't give me enough information. I figured it out though.

Hmm, what does 'o' equal? I know! Let's use some memtal arithmetic!

How ironic.

I will be looking for more mistakes in these tests, I still have 3 to do. They make it easy to post on my blog cause I have to take the tests at home.

Randomocity

People think they are so healthy because they eat vegetables. Hate to break it to ya, but:

VEGGIES AREN'T VERY NUTRITIOUS WHEN YOU GLOMP THEM IN RANCH!


On a unrelated note, I got an e-mail containing a link to a blog containing several cool slideshows, and I encourage you to check it out (note, I have not looked at all the content on the site, although what I saw was pretty cool).

Here's a cool slideshow about 3D chalk art:


Make Your Own Slideshow | More Slideshows

APRIL FOOLS!!! - New comic (At the library...)

Just so you know, yesterday's post, that was a TOTAL April Fool's joke. You didn't think I would actually close it after all this work, right?

Here's a new comic I created, and it's more of a Far Side than a Dilbert, since it doesn't have any characters in it.

I am closing my blog!

I just thought that you would like to know that I am closing my blog. I cannot keep updating it, so I will never update it again. I will not delete it so you guys can still read it.

Say goodbye to my blog, sorry!