Billy Mays RIP

As some of you readers out there know, I published a post about Billy Mays some months ago, mainly bashing him and the products he sells. Billy Mays has died this morning, and because of that I am removing the post.

Billy Mays: July 20th, 1958 - June 28th, 2009
Rest in peace

Ode to the Sandwich

OMFG A NEW POST!!1!11!!

Today I will be writing about sandwiches, which is pretty much the best type of food there is. I think without sandwiches I would die. Wait, let me rephrase that...if there were no sandwiches I wouldn't quite die, I would just have to live off of cereal.

Don't believe me that sandwiches are the perfect food? Check out this graph I made with the "GraphJam" chart-creation thing (note, link may contain some sexual innuendo).



As charts should be, this chart is pretty self-explanatory.

Sandwiches are everywhere. To list some examples; PB+J, bologna sandwich, sub sandwich, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, Oreos, ravioli, buttered biscuits, tacos, etc. They all follow the basic principles of a sandwich. On top of that there's also food that follows the property of an "open-faced sandwich", like pizza, cake, and frosted cookies.

So whenever you are craving some peanut butter, at least slap it between slices of bread because you can make people sick by just eating it straight out the jar. Thank you.

Restroom Towers - RCT2

I still play Rollercoaster Tycoon 2. RCT3 lags my computer and makes it really tedious and difficult to make a large park (but I can play games like CSS and Portal fine), and the guests are really stupid (and don't die!).

Today, in an ode to Thomas Crapper, I build this awesome park called 'Restroom Towers.' I'm thinking the slogan should be 'The Most Relieving Place on Earth.'

Home to 255 restrooms, this park also has several restroom attendants (handymen), mechanics, security guards, and even an entertainer! Restroom Towers has it all (excluding actual rides and food/drink/other stalls)! The park has received rewards such as 'The Safest Park in the Country' and 'The Tidiest Park in the Country.'

Here are some screenshots of the park (click to enlarge):

Oodles of restooms.

We're not joking when it comes to bathrooms.

Look at all the silly people who want to go home!

This giant restroom houses the 250th restroom.

An overview of the park.

I caved in and got Twitter. I still have no need for Facebook though.

What do you want to see on DuckyAtePaste?

To the few people who read my blog and acknowledge the fact that they do, what would you like to see?

Post comments on this post on what you like to see on Ducky Ate Paste:

- Observational posts (Skeptica Claus, Billy Mays, Ducky's Guide to TV Commercial Statements)
- Comics
- Videos
- 'Fail's I notice
- Blank posts so you can comment spam
- Other

Runtime Fail

Here's another 'fail' I noticed.

I dunno, I wasn't planning on spending my entire weekend watching this movie.

Hotel Room Win

Indoor Heated Pool, Microwave & Refrigerator in Every Room!!!

(think about it and read it like an English nazi)

Ducky's Guide to TV Commercial Statements

'Our product will change your life!'

...for the worse.

'If you go to our school, you will get a FREE laptop computer that you can keep after you graduate!'

...that weighs 35 pounds and runs Windows 95.

'Although our product would normally cost $90, we are selling it for $10!'

...it would cost $90 if purchased from Hong Kong through eBay.

'We will double your order for the same price of $10!'

...and they were planning to do that anyways, but decided to add additional shipping and processing costs.

'Actual people on hidden cameras.'

...actors are actual people as well, and just because the cameras are hidden it doesn't mean that the actors don't know the cameras are there.

'Our cereal is healthier than other cereals!'

...when you compare 3/4 cup of cereal and 1/2 cup of skim milk to a regular serving of cereal with whole milk.

'Visually stunning.'

...when the reviewer originally said 'This movie is not visual stunning in any means at all.' and the commercial makers trimmed off 'excess' words from the sentence.

'The product will easily clean any material!'

...assuming the only material you've heard of is rusty pennies.

'The product has great potential!'

...as a paperweight.

'Professional driver on a closed course.'

...we paid a truck driver to sit in a car in front of a green screen because our budget was low.