Runtime Fail

Here's another 'fail' I noticed.

I dunno, I wasn't planning on spending my entire weekend watching this movie.

Hotel Room Win

Indoor Heated Pool, Microwave & Refrigerator in Every Room!!!

(think about it and read it like an English nazi)

Ducky's Guide to TV Commercial Statements

'Our product will change your life!'

...for the worse.

'If you go to our school, you will get a FREE laptop computer that you can keep after you graduate!'

...that weighs 35 pounds and runs Windows 95.

'Although our product would normally cost $90, we are selling it for $10!'

...it would cost $90 if purchased from Hong Kong through eBay.

'We will double your order for the same price of $10!'

...and they were planning to do that anyways, but decided to add additional shipping and processing costs.

'Actual people on hidden cameras.'

...actors are actual people as well, and just because the cameras are hidden it doesn't mean that the actors don't know the cameras are there.

'Our cereal is healthier than other cereals!'

...when you compare 3/4 cup of cereal and 1/2 cup of skim milk to a regular serving of cereal with whole milk.

'Visually stunning.'

...when the reviewer originally said 'This movie is not visual stunning in any means at all.' and the commercial makers trimmed off 'excess' words from the sentence.

'The product will easily clean any material!'

...assuming the only material you've heard of is rusty pennies.

'The product has great potential!'

...as a paperweight.

'Professional driver on a closed course.'

...we paid a truck driver to sit in a car in front of a green screen because our budget was low.

Mail Time *not for kiddies*

DO NOT READ THIS, THIS CONTAINS THE WEIRD SEXUAL REFERENCES MY SPAMMERS SEND ME.

No, not your average mail time where readers send in pics of their obese cat. No, this time it's time to revisit the horrors of SPAM MAIL.

First of all, do you remember those weird duplicate emails I got when I posted the original spam mail post? Well guess what, THEY KEEP COMING. AND THEY ARE EVEN WORSE THAN BEFORE.

Here are some examples of names of the 'senders:'

Mikles Serandos
Wahr Lilyquist
Kiest Schwingel

Here are their messages. I added asterisks, because two of them contained bad words (which shocked me quite a bit).

Mikles Serandos' message:

Subject: love love love love love :)

Body: Show your sweetheart how much you love her!!!!

***link to some website which I don't even want to look at***

Endued with great energy, covered that foremost not give
their reasons for dismissing the complaint on his powers
of illusion, slay karna, the son her in nature and age and
extraction, nala deserveth his life for islam. The muslim
with a wild cry.

Kiest Schwingels' message:

Subject: one wife is not enough

Body: I have One wife and two mistresses... I can f*** theem all several times per day!

***dumb link***

Yet now that some person had revealed his secrets, be right
to lie. Ask god to make you a way of tongue anew if well,
mrs dolly, suppose your tale lives in, if you knew how he
is wanting for food i found it empty in the morning and
threw it 'did.

Wahr Lilyquest's message (which I thought was the most interesting):

Subject: Santa Claus and Christmaas Night!

Body: WOW!! Santa Claus try our meds and f*** housewife and her daughter!

***no link fo' you!***

Must obtain permission in writing from both the quite nice.
thank you, kate. Toni gave vent to you leave the cove? At
a quarter to twelve. I canoe. There the plucky fellow was
able to get seemed impossible to believe that he in the
^telsenlabyryntfi.

Um..........wow. 'And her daughter'??? What??

I seriously get like 15 of these a day. Luckily, they all end up in my spam folder, thanks to Gmail.

Spam Fail

(click to enlarge)

This time it's personal.

Wait, what?

'Please do not reply to this email,' I mean come on. Are they even TRYING to get me to open it anymore?


(P.S. Sign you are a nerd - your spam box has more mail than your regular inbox)

New blog: ForumFail

Hey guys, I just created a new blog called ForumFail. This has nothing to do with me or my personal life, it is just stupid posts on forums.

Be sure to check out the link: Clickedness.

And be sure to submit stupid posts to ForumFailMail@gmail.com

I will occasionally update this blog, but for the time being I'm trying to get this blog up and running.

Serving Size Test

Still not dead yet. I'm sorry, I just don't really feel like blogging right now. But nonetheless, here is an update.



Have you ever wondered about the serving sizes on cereal boxes? I do. I've done a test to see if the serving size would actually be enough to fill you.

On the box of Frosted Flakes (tm) it suggests 3/4 cup of cereal and a 1/2 cup of milk. Let's see how much this really is:


No joke. This is how much they suggest. Maybe I'm an overeater? They suggest this:


And I eat this:


Oh man I'm fat!

Number Sens - A Poorly Written Test

So in school they are making us do these stupid 'online preparation tests' that are really stupid and easy. I really haven't found any problems with it, until I took today's test. I really love the professionalism of these tests!

(Click on the photo to enlarge it, underlined for emphasis)

If z = o, then we have an undefined variable. Technically, this question didn't give me enough information. I figured it out though.

Hmm, what does 'o' equal? I know! Let's use some memtal arithmetic!

How ironic.

I will be looking for more mistakes in these tests, I still have 3 to do. They make it easy to post on my blog cause I have to take the tests at home.

Carrot-Brains

So today I received a bag of carrots to eat, to encourage 'healthy living.'


But wait, that's not all!

Look at the ingredients:


Oh wow! The ingredients for carrots are carrots! Who would of thought?

Sorry guys!

I've been such a loser at a loser hobby of writing blogs! Imagine that!

I'll post more often from now on.

And burritos will totally rule the world.