WARNING: If you are a small child, I would recommend not reading this post. Or even being on the Internet in general.
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Santa Claus. You know, the guy who visits all the good children of the world and gives them presents, all in one night. To whoever made him up, what kind of smokes did you obtain? Honestly.
Some old fat guy in red clothing gives presents to children in exchange for cookies and milk? If you think about it, this is quite possibly the dumbest idea ever. Of course, I'm exaggerating, but you get my point. If this was actually true, the North Pole government would be all over his rosy red butt. Unless there was a delightful cookies-to-presents exchange rate there, I don't think so.
Then of course, there would be several problems with elves working in a workshop up in the north pole, I don't think that's going to happen. How the crap would little midgets in silly costumes make 5 million Nintendo Wiis by hand? Santa must have quite a number of elves up there.
Not to mention all of the legal encounters. It can't be legally possible to have Santa make millions of copies of products, it would put the companies out of business. There is also patent laws, copyright laws, and other types of laws that would send Santa to federal prison for a few hundred years.
So, in closing, don't do drugs. You might come up with a holiday icon if you do.
Dec 6, 2008
Skeptica Claus
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negative posts,
observational
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7 comments:
disclaimer: i am not on drugs.
the elves don't make the wii's silly, in some magical way all the santa's in the shopping centres around the world are actually the real santa (don't question the theory, i'm a little hazy on the semantics) and the shopping centre/real santa's buy them all therefore leading everyone to turn a blind eye hence no copyright/ gaol sentence.
another point i'd like to make is that "... in silly costumes..." means exactly that. they only wear them when they have to make a t.v. appearance. otherwise they probably just wear jeans and t shirts.
and in closing, some people also give the reindeers carrots and water so that is quite alot of food from millions and millions of people so he probably does have some kind of exchange rate. he may sell them on ebay. mabe the doggy poo on your wish list is actually reindeer poo (that santa collected from them flying above him, hot air balloon style) and you just handed santa a cool 7.95 bucks (plus postage and handling)
therefore, you are keeping santa in cookies and milk for another year. feel proud soldier
Interesting theory. Although I still don't have any idea why Santa has hired elves. He could save millions a year by not paying elves to sit around all year. Maybe Santa is in reality a CEO for a larger operation and has several branches, including Keebler Cookies and Nike Shoes, and relocated the elves and factories to the North Pole. Or maybe I'm thinking this through too thoroughly.
duh, the elves are volunteers. you mustn't be thinking this through too thoroughly if you didn't think of that! they have other jobs in the year but at christmas they volunteer. or mabe santa gives them a cut of the milk and biscuits.
anyway, it is long past christmas so until next year mabe you should move on lol,have a skeptica new years fairy.
lol, i just reread your comment and you said 'when santa is in reality'. what is he when he isn't in reality?
Well, Santa would be a wealthy and powerful CEO for a large company that hires elves, and would be his alternate identity (Santa, of course :P) around Christmas. If the elves are volunteers and have jobs during the non-holiday season, I figure Santa must have another job as well. He can't just sit around all the rest of the year.
Unfortunately, there are no good well-developed (by that I mean that there are facts about the person) holiday characters until Easter.
lol, Cupid must hate you, he comes out February 14 and you've just forgotten about him! you aint gonna get some love shot in your butt this year mister.
and what about saint Patrick's day- hello leprechauns! mate, stop making the mythical creatures angry.
I guess there's not much more obscene than a naked angel baby shooting people with arrows and they magically fall in love. I might do a Valentine's Day special, but who knows.
As for leprechauns...well that's two months away so I won't worry about it for now.
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