DuckyAtePaste Web Comic: Unwanted Cookies

Hey guys, I haven't made any more web comics, so I thought I should. Hoping you get it (you probably won't since I made it in five minutes), here you go:

Oh wise Bazooka, tell me my fortune!

Oh man, I almost let it slide an entire week! :O

Well, I better give you guy(s) a special entry.

I was in the store and bought some Bazooka just for the heck of it. We all know the 'so-funny-I-forgot-to-laugh' comics wrapped around the gum, but I noticed something even better: Fortunes.

'Fortune' is kind of an overstatement. It's more like advice with no relation to life. Here are seven of them:

"WHEN THE STUDENT IS READY, THE TEACHER WILL STOP FLUNKING HIM."

Wait a minute, him? Girls flunk too. Bazooka sure shares it's opinions, gosh.

"HE WHO PAYS THE CELL PHONE BILL CALLS THE TUNE"

Um...that doesn't make much sense. They could have used more work on that.

"SUCCESS IS TEN PERCENT PERSPIRATION, NINETY PERCENT DEODORANT!"

What exactly does sweat have to do with success? I believe success is built on happiness

"IF A TREE FALLS IN THE FOREST, GET THE HECK OUTTA THE WAY!"

Uh...duh?

"FRIENDSHIP IS THE STURDIEST OF ALL SHIPS EVEN THOUGH IT SOMETIMES SPRINGS A LEAK!"

Did it just tell me that my friends pee? I don't need advice on that! Where should I go to college?

"A TREE IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE"

...? This is the farthest thing from a 'fortune.'

"DON'T CUT OFF YOUR NOSE TO SPITE YOUR FACE."

This is by far the most random one. This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that's all I have. Please enjoy these fortunes forever more!

(P.S. Arithmetic lesson: Emoticons = Nerd, Lame acronyms = Nerd, does Lame acronyms = Emoticons? :Omg!)

I Am Legend Review

Hey guys, just got back from I Am Legend. It was frikkin scary at parts, I don't care if the critics were bashing it for crap CG. I was scared. Shut up I'm totally macho.

Spoiler pool ahead, just so you know.



I Am Legend has about the stupidest ending ever. I read the book's ending online and it was better. In the movie, Robert Neville finds out he is not the last man on earth. Ugh. Then he kills himself for no reason, when he could have easily just thrown the grenade and got in the bomb shelter thing. The dark seekers could apparently break through his roof and get into his house, but they couldn't break through some safety glass. It also explains that the virus doesn't like the cold, but that apparently has nothing to do with anything. First off, the dark seekers' body temperature was already like 106. Second off, when the Neville family is trying to get away, it is during Christmas, but the virus seems to spread just as quickly and still spreading airborne. Anyways, the first while of the movie was good. Character developments on Robert was very well acted by Will Smith. I found the first three fourths very interesting.

Yeah, my finger hurts now (I scraped it up horribly), so I'm gonna leave you be.

'Snappy Comebacks'

I put it in quotations because I'm totally being sarcastic.

Here are some comebacks I really did hear. From the same person. For real.

"Why are you hanging around me, if you hate and disagree with everything I say?"
"Well, I'll get out the sledge hammer-"
(I interrupted)"Yeah, so I can ward you away."
"You probably couldn't even lift it!"

(He was wearing a shirt that looked like a piece of paper was stuck to it saying 'Save the forest, no more homework!')
"You know how ironic that shirt is?"
"I'm going to staple your face!"
Wowee. Great.

I have to put a comeback I came up with. It's too funny.

So he was being a dishface and hanging around me and my friends. So we asked him:
"Hey, dude, who do you like?"
He was pausing, so I took the advantage of the timing and said:
"Clayton!"
Sometimes I really think he's gay.

Okay, this isn't from the same kid, but this is a really stupid comeback I heard.

We keep joking about this kid drinking soda, 'sodaholic.' He didn't really care, or at least we thought we didn't.
"Yeah, that's right. I drink soda. Hear me, third grader?"
Okay, first of all we're the exact same height. Second off my IQ is much higher than his. Trust me.

Christmas shopping time! If you haven't seen it already, check out my totally killer wishlist!

The Literal Maze

Directions:
Help Santa find his way to the Christmas tree.

Here's a little map to help you, Santa:

Guitar Hero

As I was playing John the Fisherman on Hard and Heart-Shaped Box on Expert (yes, I do like to brag about those!!) I was thinking. Yeah. That's right.

Why don't they make a Bass Hero? Or like, Bass Master? I'm thinking of making one with GameMaker, but it's a rather large project. I know Guitar Hero features a Bass option in the Training section, but the controllers are the same and you can't play during a concert. And yes, I have heard of Rock Band. I would get it, I mean since I already have a guitar, but I'm saving for a new TV, and depending on what I get from Christmas money, I probably won't get it.

Why did I post this? Mainly just to brag that I can play Guitar Hero decently.

Rip-off!

I have recently noticed Kraft has some salad dressing products with pretty much no fat, 15 calories, and all the other healthy stuff. But what I beg to differ on is the name of the product:

Even though 'FREE' is the biggest, most obvious, and accompanied by no other words on the box, I still have to pay the $4.00 to get the thing. Forget you Kraft product-naming department (Just kidding. For serious. Don't sue me)!

Boring - Mini Golf Demo

I'm making a mini golf game, so yeah. It will work on most XP's, and it SHOULD work on Vista. It would probably run 98 and up or so.

Here's the download link:
Linkage!!

I got inspired by a mini golf game made with the same program I use (GameMaker) called Mini-Golf Pro. It rocks and is a lot better. Here is S64's game: More Linkage!!

Drake and Josh: I can't believe I didn't noticed this!

I was watching Drake and Josh , and it cut to the movie theater. Being a reader of the Sneeze and aware that Steve is friends with Dan Schneider (most known to me for 'Ricky' in Better Off Dead), and that Dan Schneider created the show, I never really put the two apart. The Premiere (the movie theater) always has funny fictional movies playing, like 'Bathtub of Blood.' I just noticed that on the Great Doheny episode, it displays this on the movie theater:

Hehe. I didn't really need all the much explaining.

I also circled 'Hungry Girl,' because it is a reference to site dedicated to helping women stay fit. I'm guessing he put this in because he married the founder and president of the site.

Well, I'm all good now. I don't know why I posted this, it isn't witty or funny. I just noticed it.

-Ducky

Chummy Larks

Chummy larks (that's what you get if you play around with Lucky Charms) ..hehe.

Hello, Ducky here. Again.

Came with ready made numbers, I give you the five leprechauns, as opposed to the seven dwarfs (dwarves?).

(Sorry, bit blurry!)

1. STALKER - Yeah, this guy will watch you while you sleep and smile. Don't be frightened, but he's watching you RIGHT NOW!
2. HAIRY - Involved with a failed hair 'destoration' experiment, he is now hairy as ever. But trust me, he's all hair but there.
3. DENTIST - I really have no idea what he's doing here. But he has completely perfect teeth and is pretending to hold a pancake of some sort.
   
4. TERRORIST - He may not look like too much, but his eyebrows show he's evil. I would go buy a bomb shelter, just in case an atomic bomb gets into his hands.
5. CREEPY - My favorite. He's pretty much a combined figure of the previous four. He'll watch you while you're sleeping, destroy a national monument, have you shave his hairy body and uh... clean your teeth?
   

Oh man, I'm scared of leprechauns now.

NOTE: Original post contained leprechauns being very naughty, but I have edited that out and replaced it with a very nice dentist leprechaun.

- Ducky